


If

by Azia



Series: ∞ [4]
Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Additional Warnings May Apply, Established Relationship, M/M, Pre-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Psychological Manipulation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:54:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21909274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azia/pseuds/Azia
Summary: “But what if—”something’s changed“—I… I don’t know…” Kokichi only tells him to take it easy, because “the world kinda sucks without you.”(But, in the heat of the summer, Shuichi realizes that he had always been a spider pretending to be a butterfly.)
Relationships: Ouma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi
Series: ∞ [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/948729
Comments: 31
Kudos: 107





	1. It's

**Author's Note:**

> honey, i told the kids i'd be back for christmas! ♡
> 
>  **does _kriesgpiel_ , _psychobabble_ , and _night rather than day_ have to be read in order to understand this**? no. this is not a series that must be read all together, but a collection of stories that all reference and connect to one another.
> 
>  **this looks kind of familiar. didn’t you post this like two times and then delete it**? yes, yes, yes, i posted this chapter twice in 2018. if you happen to be well acquainted with it then you can just skip this first chapter because now there's finally a second chapter available for everyone's reading pleasure. **edit, december 17, 2020** : _if_ was a reworking of a previous idea of mine called "junko junior." the _junko junior_ scenes were removed in this final version of _if_. if you are interested in reading those removed scenes, you can [click here](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1g9TBCiN2ftZCXrD4sM330LyxtWjOL1i9/view?usp=sharing) to read the first chapter, [click here](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1OzSMfcBItKuZIH-P3jrn3WftlQ2r0nwC/view?usp=sharing) to read the second chapter (it's unfinished), and [click here](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1KZB-jOIWI_YJtilW-_bM1vb9I3WH47-y/view?usp=sharing) to read the outline of _junko junior_. it was truly a great idea, but perhaps a bit too ambitious for me to execute it. oh well.
> 
> i hate author's notes, but i do have a few things to say. i no longer have writer's block but i still have a rocky relationship with writing in general. for some reason when i came back to this idea, the words came out so easily. the first chapter was written in 2018 and i finally wrote the second and third chapters in the past couple of days, so if there's a dip in quality, that's why! :D

They met through one of those “friend of a friend of a friend of a friend” type situations. Nothing too special or out of the ordinary. They went to different schools, lived in different neighborhoods, stammered through different lifestyles – but they were here together now, discussing “what if’s” as they usually did, all because of—

“—karaoke night?” Shuichi suggested.

“No, no, no. Why would Saihara-chan even say that? We both hate karaoke.”

“Ah, right… Um, what if we met at the mall?”

“At the _mall_? _Seriously_? Since when do I go there? Saihara-chan, I’m starting to think you have amnesia…”

“Then what if we met… at a restaurant?”

“No, that’s so _last year_.”

“What if it was at a café?” Kokichi was giving him _the look_ now. “T-Then where did we meet?” Kokichi shrugged. He was no help as usual. Shuichi still squeezed his hand though.

“Your memory is worse than _mine_ and I’m supposed to be your elder.” Kokichi clicked his tongue. “How sad. Saihara-chan should really get his head checked out before it gets worse.”

“But you don’t remember eith—” Kokichi loudly slurped around the popsicle he had in hand. “Ah, Ouma-kun,” Shuichi couldn’t do much but lightly jostle their intertwined hands, “don’t do that.”

“Why?”

“You know why.”

It could’ve been morning. Midmorning. Afternoon. Midday. Didn’t matter. Who ever really knew what time it was once the world was ensnared in the sticky web of the summertime? Could’ve been any day, any time of day. It didn’t matter. Shuichi could overcome the throes of the dog days as long as he had Kokichi by his side. The thought alone was enough to make him give into the desire of pressing a (surely icy and sugary sweet) kiss against the other’s cheek. (That Kokichi pretended to wipe away with a smile as he always did.)

It was hard to tell what time it was anymore in the day and age they lived in anyway.

“Okay, but what if you—?” Shuichi tapped his half-eaten popsicle against Kokichi’s lips. Kokichi easily accepted the disruption without hesitation and finished the frozen treat off in seconds. “You have to go soon, hm?” He asked as he chewed.

“Ah, you’re right.” Shuichi discarded both of their finished popsicle sticks aside before he leapt off the picnic table they had been lounging against. Kokichi made some sort of noise of discontentment from having to hop off the table too by extension due to their hands still being connected. “I have to go to a bookstore in this backstreet market.”

“You’re…” Kokichi blinked twice, slowly, as if he was still processing the information. “You— _Saihara-chan_ —are going to a _bookstore_ in a _backstreet market_?”

“Ah, yeah—”

“For what purpose exactly?”

“I-I was just about to say for what.” Shuichi went into the steady motion of swinging their arms together. It didn’t need to be said aloud that Kokichi wasn’t going to let him go alone. The intention was loud and clear from how tightly he was gripping his hand. “I bought the original _Danganronpa_ pilot from someone online. They told me to pick it up at this bookstore in the street market.” To hinder any more surely incoming skepticism, Shuichi pulled out his cellphone and showed the proof of the purchase.

“Saihara-chan…”

“Y-Yes?”

“You’re seriously about to go to a _backstreet market_ to buy something from someone whose username is ‘Cockroach’? Even _I_ wouldn’t do that.”

“Ah, no. See,” Shuichi even pointed to his phone screen as if it would help his case, “the display name is ‘Cockroach’ but the username is ‘051224.’” Kokichi, again with _the look_. Shuichi even had to admit that he gave a piss-poor attempt at a defense. “S-Seriously though, it should be fine.”

“I dunno. I know how _Danganronpa_ fans are.” Shuichi felt the usual burn that Kokichi always packed into his gaze whenever he carefully eyed him up and down – and a shiver coursed down his spine each and every time. “And they’re not the most… _trustworthy_ people.” Kokichi did that little twisted half-grin, half-smirk he always did after he blatantly checked him out, the one that used to make Shuichi squirm in the past – but the sudden kiss smacked square against his lips made him squirm in the present. It was too sticky with the remnants of artificial cherry and grape flavoring from the popsicles that lingered on Kokichi’s lips.

Kokichi cackled away a little too happily as Shuichi went to wipe at his mouth with a sigh.

∞

It was the typical backstreet: congested with stores, congested with people, congested with different smells: an amalgamation of summer sweat, sweetened tea, and street food – and sounds, too: vendors belting for attention, dogs yipping for scraps, children pleading to stop at every vendor and storefront. It was undeniably where urban culture met and perfectly melded with rural practices. It didn’t take too long to find the bookstore, but it did take too long to push through the bodies and bodies of everyday people while trying not to disconnect hands through the entire ordeal.

The bookstore wasn’t anything atypical. It had paperbacks gathering mildew tucked in just about every square inch of the establishment, and they were stacked high enough to reach the ceiling. It was absolutely stifling indoors, sweat even seemed to be dripping from the book pages – all the complete essentials for a backstreet market store.

The store owner was slumped over the counter, nearly completely nestled among a mile-high cocoon of books. It didn’t take too long for Shuichi to retrieve what he was looking for – all wrapped up pretty in a brown paper encasing too. His hand couldn’t help but tremble once he wrapped his fingers around the package.

Shuichi must have been staring at the package a little too long because an “Ugh, it’s _so hot_ in here, Saihara-chan, we gotta go” disrupted his stupor and he looked up to see the store owner had cocked an eyebrow at him – at his staring, at his and Kokichi’s uninterrupted handholding – and they quickly departed on that note.

∞

The first thing Shuichi did when he got home was shoot off a message to the seller; just a confirmation that he had successfully received the package and a thank you seemed especially in order. What he was holding was a _rarity_. In fact, it was a gross understatement to simply call it a “rarity” even. It was the only copy out there as far as Shuichi knew. He had to search low and high through all corners of the universe – but finally, _finally_ it was _his_. He was holding it in his hands _right now_. And he _couldn’t breathe_.

He needed to type the message out before his hands started shaking too badly again.

> TO: ゴキブリ (@051224)  
>  MESSAGE: I got it! Thank you so much for even willing to give this to me. I know how important this is and I’ll cherish it for the rest of my life. Thank you so much.

A bit dramatic? Perhaps. Shuichi sent the message anyway. His phone buzzed no less than a few seconds later.

> FROM: ゴキブリ (@051224)  
>  MESSAGE: No problem. And warning: myself and another person have already played this through before, so it’s slightly used. But it should work without a hitch.

Shuichi raised his eyebrow at the message.

> TO: ゴキブリ (@051224)  
>  MESSAGE: “Played?” It’s fine if you watched it before, really.
> 
> FROM: ゴキブリ (@051224)  
>  MESSAGE: No, “played” as in played the game before. You know that this is a game, right?
> 
> TO: ゴキブリ (@051224)  
>  MESSAGE: No, I wasn’t aware of that? This is a video game?
> 
> FROM: ゴキブリ (@051224)  
>  MESSAGE: Yes and no. It’s a full-motion video game, meaning that it contains pictures and videos of the pilot launch of DR, but it’s interactive. You’ll see. Tell me if you have any problems with it and I can help you through it.
> 
> TO: ゴキブリ (@051224)  
>  MESSAGE: Ah, thank you for the clarification. I’ll be sure to message you if I have any troubles. Thank you again for everything.

After he sent the message, Shuichi received what he should have predicted: a call from Kokichi. Kokichi was the only person who called him anyway, really – especially during the summertime, it seemed like. “I’m calling,” Kokichi started speaking before Shuichi could even say anything, “not because I _care_ or anything—I mean, ew; me _caring_? _Never_ —but because I’m bored, like, so bored I could _cry_. So, how’s your little nerd thingy doing? Is it a rip-off? My bet is that it’s a total rip-off. Watch, some random movie or song is gonna start playing when you put it in.”

“I… hope not. And I just learned that it’s actually a video game.” Shuichi held his phone in between his ear and his shoulder as he worked to remove the paper packaging.

“A video game?” He heard Kokichi make loud sniffing noises directly into the phone speaker. “Do you smell that, Saihara-chan?” Shuichi traced his fingers over the white encasing. It was extremely minimalistic – no designs, no logos, nothing. Just the simple words _D **I** STRUST_ and _D **II** STRUST_ printed in bold, black text in English across the front. “Smells like a scaaaam.”

“Well, let’s see.” The moment of truth. He popped the disk inside in his computer and held his breath as it loaded.

“Hello? Saihara-chan? Did I lose Saihara-chan? It must be working, then.” _It was_ , Shuichi thought. It was working. But his thoughts couldn’t reach Kokichi. “Well, as fun as it is to listen to Saihara-chan just breathe and cream his pants over nothing—it isn’t that fun if it isn’t over me.” He sighed loudly, dramatically. “Saihara-chan loves _Danganronpa_ more than me. What to do? See ya later.”

Shuichi just managed to get out a barely passible, “B-Bye,” before Kokichi hung up the phone.

The loading screen presented not only the title that was on the case, but also the official _Danganronpa_ logo in the foreground, all in white against a simple black screen, before it quickly dissolved away and presented another screen: a menu with options ranging from “chapter zero” to “chapter six.” Only “chapter one” and “chapter two” were available options.

Shuichi could barely even move his hand to press for the first chapter to start. He heard his own breath stammer as the screen briefly showed the game logo again before it faded to black and a video began to play…

∞

The screen faded to black once the chapter ended.

Shuichi’s eyes were still practically glued to the screen and glazed over in nothing but utter _awe_. The first thought that managed to echo through his absent mind was that it was all video, nothing “interactive” had happened yet like the seller and one of the loading screens had stated – but he didn’t care. He had been blessed with the chance to even be in the presence of absolute magnificence. He didn’t care if it was in the form of a video, pictures, a video game, or whatever – _he had it in his grasp_.

A ding sounded off from his computer. He immediately sat up straight again.

> PRIZE FOR COMPLETING CHAPTER ONE: **_NOW DOWNLOADING_** …

A picture popped up on the screen. He would be a fool not to recognize _those_ faces: the emblematic Enoshima Junko herself and Tsumiki Mikan from _Super Danganronpa 2_ – a monarch and a figurehead in the franchise, respectively, were side by side. Shuichi recognized the location too – _Danganronpa 3_ : an interesting spin-off show that showcased a bit of backstory toward the iconic season one and two cast. Perhaps it wasn’t too outlandish of a thought that Team Danganronpa had planned a video game that later on apparently got scrapped – but Shuichi had it now. It was right in front of him, just begging to be explored, to have all of its innermost secrets uncovered and laid out bare before him.

And he had the rest of the limitless summertime at his fingertips to do just that.

Shuichi’s cellphone rang. He blinked once, twice, just barely coming out of his daze before he almost robotically moved his hand to answer it.

“Hey, Saihara-chan~! Sure, I said I wasn’t going to call again buuut I’m _bored_ —as usual. How’s that nerd game of yours coming along?”

“Ah, i-it’s—it’s…” Shuichi was at a loss for words. His adrenaline was still high for crying out loud.

The blood pumping in his ears made him miss Kokichi’s quiet laugh. “Sounds like it’s not a scam, huh?”


	2. always

So, there was good news and bad news.

Good news: the second chapter was just as breathtaking as the first. Shuichi was definitely at a loss for words once the screen faded to black once more.

Bad news: the third chapter wasn’t unlocked once he returned to the menu screen.

Shuichi, fingers moving more deftly than they ever had in his entire lifetime, whipped out his cellphone from his pocket and messaged the seller.

> TO: ゴキブリ (@051224)  
>  MESSAGE: First of all, I just want to thank you again for allowing me to even be able to play this. It’s been such an honor and I still do not feel worthy of it. But, only the first two chapters are available. You said that you had already finished the game, so how did you unlock the third chapter?

Once again, it only took seconds for a response.

> FROM: ゴキブリ (@051224)  
>  MESSAGE: Seriously, you don’t have to keep thanking me. It’s not that big of a deal. And I had only given you DISTRUST and DIISTRUST, not DIIISTRUST. All of the chapters come separately while the first two chapters come together. (I’m sure that you’re going to ask why, but I’m afraid that I don’t have an answer to that, sorry.) I just wanted to test the waters, so I only sent you the first game (aka the first two chapters). But you’re definitely the real deal, so I’ll be sending the rest of the game to you.
> 
> TO: ゴキブリ (@051224)  
>  MESSAGE: Ah, okay. Thank you for clearing everything up and for being willing to send the rest of the game to me. Is the rest of the game going to be at the same bookstore?
> 
> FROM: ゴキブリ (@051224)  
>  MESSAGE: No, I’ll make it easier to find this time. I’ll send you the address once I’m sure the package has been dropped off. And seriously, no need to thank me. We DR fans have an obligation to each other, you know? :)

∞

The package was in a convenience store near where Kokichi lived. Out of obligation, of course, Shuichi invited Kokichi along. He was sure that if he didn’t then Kokichi’s sixth sense would’ve probably activated and he would’ve gotten an earful for showing up in his neighborhood without any prior announcement or inviting him along. And, it wasn’t like Shuichi’s first instinct wasn’t to invite him anyway.

So, the stage was set for their current predicament: hand in hand, as usual, on their way to the next pick-up location.

Kokichi let out a noisy sigh once their feet simultaneously hopped off the pavement that surrounded his apartment complex. “Doesn’t Saihara-chan think this whole thing is strange? Hasm’t he gotten enough already?” Shuichi didn’t need to look at his companion to know that _the pout_ was in full effect. But it wasn’t effective as long as he didn’t look at it!

“No, I haven’t had enough yet.” Shuichi tried to stuff as much as a smile into his words as possible, similar to when he had shown up at Kokichi’s door that morning. Or afternoon. Whenever it was when he had asked him to accompany him. It didn’t matter, as long as they were together now.

“Not that I care but… how does this all even work anyway? You said it was the season one cast, right?” Shuichi was probably positively _beaming_ at that point. He also probably nodded with a little too much vigor. Kokichi, eyes pressing forward, either didn’t notice or chose to ignore it. “So, how is there a ‘demo’ version or whatever with ‘real footage’ if they’re already dead? If I was Saihara-chan, that would definitely be bugging me.”

Shuichi only waved Kokichi’s concerns away with his free hand. “It doesn’t bug me,” was all he simply stated before he held the door open to the convenience store for Kokichi to enter first. Kokichi only rolled his eyes and held the door open with the heel of his foot for Shuichi to enter right after him without missing a beat.

It was like a scavenger hunt almost, with Shuichi (enthusiastically) and Kokichi (reluctantly) searching through the store until one of them came upon it – a package wrapped in brown paper hidden in one of the freezers.

And as a “reward” for not only finding the package, but for also being such an overall good sport (which Shuichi would never say aloud, as he was sure his tongue would be snipped off), Shuichi bought Kokichi whatever snack of his choosing, and Kokichi’s “complaints” momentarily came to a halt when they exited the store with the package and a can of soda and carton of cookies tucked underneath their arms.

∞

Their typical discussion of “what if’s” continued once they reached Kokichi’s doorstep. It always came back to the same question of— “What if the summer never ends?” But Kokichi always said it in a tone that could be mistaken for wonder if it fell on the wrong ears. In response, Shuichi could only shrug and follow Kokichi’s eyeline to the sky, to the never failing sun that held true and truer every damned day in the untouchable horizon.

“What if it’s just that you don’t want it to end?” And it was rare for Shuichi to be in a teasing mood, especially by his lonesome without Kokichi teasing right back by the tenfold. Kokichi only rolled his eyes again, not up to banter apparently, but that didn’t dim Shuichi’s shine. His arm was still tingling all over from where he cradled the package.

“What if I don’t?” Kokichi shrugged and then held the carton up to his mouth so that he could funnel in the remaining cookie crumbs directly down his throat. “What if the summer never ended and we could do whatever we wanted?”

Shuichi’s good mood was making him more palatable than usual, so when the words, “That sounds like a dream,” slipped out his mouth, his usual omnipresent hum of anxiety wasn’t buzzing loud enough to remind him that it was always, always, always a bad idea to let the mind speak too much. But, to see the momentary widening of Kokichi’s eyes before his façade quickly snapped back into place, it made it all worth it. (Maybe.)

“There Saihara-chan goes, being greasy again.” But Kokichi kissed him anyway, again and again (the kind of kisses he always gave when more could be said, but neither of them were willing to speak up) before he gave one final wave and walked back into his home, so maybe it was all worth it after all. (Hopefully.)

∞

Shuichi’s fingers moved at lightning speed once he resettled in his room to open the package. As promised, _D **III** STRUST_ was in his hands. And when he inserted the disk into his computer, “chapter three” was unlocked and ready to go – _just for him_. If he was of uncouth spirits, then he was sure he would be salivating at the mouth when he clicked for the chapter to start.

∞

> PRIZE FOR COMPLETING CHAPTER THREE: _**NOW DOWNLOADING**_

The prize for the second chapter had been a video of Tsumiki Mikan. To… describe the video as “odd” was a gross understatement. It had been a blessing that Shuichi was able to replay the video as many times as he wished, because he had initially thought his usual post- _Danganronpa_ haze was fogging everything over, but no. The video was dark, and he had managed to figure out that it was Mikan due to glimpses of her characteristic choppy bangs. There had been a brief flash of light, highlighting a fleeting glimpse of her eyes – eyes that were long past the stage of unhinged, eyes that were long past the stage of being primal. Her eyes had only widened for a fraction of a second, as if she had been caught in the act (caught in the act of _what_ , Shuichi had been unable to tell), and then the silent video ended.

The third chapter prize was another photograph. It was a photograph of everyone in the game, captioned with the simple words “original cast.”

Shuichi waited for his high to come down before he took out his phone.

> TO: ゴキブリ (@051224)  
>  MESSAGE: Thank you so much for sending me the third chapter! I really enjoyed it. I have a quick question, if you have the time to answer it. Why does the demo seem to be so Tsumiki-oriented if it’s a demo for the first season and she was a cast member of the second season?

“If you have the time to answer it.” Ha. The seller _always_ seemed to have time. Shuichi received a response no more than three seconds later, as usual.

> FROM: ゴキブリ (@051224)  
>  MESSAGE: I am not sure why it is so Tsumiki-orientated. Why, was she your favorite of SDR2? I know she’s pretty popular.

Shuichi decided to go down the neutral route.

> TO: ゴキブリ (@051224)  
>  MESSAGE: She was interesting. She had her positives and negatives, just like everyone else.
> 
> FROM: ゴキブリ (@051224)  
>  MESSAGE: Well, she’s personally my least favorite.

Shuichi… was at a loss on how to respond to that. After a moment’s consideration, he decided to do what he did best: ignore it and move on.

> TO: ゴキブリ (@051224)  
>  MESSAGE: Would I be able to receive the fourth chapter of the game?
> 
> FROM: ゴキブリ (@051224)  
>  MESSAGE: I’ll send you the location for the fourth chapter tomorrow morning. Sleep tight.
> 
> TO: ゴキブリ (@051224)  
>  MESSAGE: Thank you so much.

∞

The third location was the rooftop of Spring Field Academy – Shuichi’s school.

“Saihara-chan, if this person knows what school you go to—then…” _something is wrong_. Kokichi didn’t need to finish his sentence.

Shuichi only waved him away again. “It’s fine.” And he began his search on the rooftop, with Kokichi lingering in the stairway’s doorframe, arms folded across his chest.

Once he found the package – tucked away near an air vent – he overheard Kokichi talking to the committee members that had let them into the school building. Thankfully they had shown up on a day when the committee had returned to the school due to their obligations to work through the summer. Kokichi (in his infamously roundabout way of speaking, of course) asked the committee if they had let anyone else into the building or if anyone else had gone to the roof. They said no.

∞

They discussed “what if’s” on the way to Shuichi’s apartment. “What if Saihara-chan takes a break from his silly little game for one second so that he can take me out to eat?” That managed to grab a small laugh out of Shuichi, to which Kokichi glared at.

“I’m sorry but I want to finish this as soon as possible. But if you still want to go to eat when I’m done, I’ll take you.”

“You’re wasting your summer away.” The words were said underneath his breath, in a voice so low that it didn’t sound like Kokichi’s anymore. At least, not to a person who wasn’t well acquainted with him like Shuichi was. It was a rare tone, but not quite so uncommon that Shuichi was unsure on how to handle it whenever it came up.

“Ouma-kun…” Shuichi tightened his hold on his hand. “I’m on the fourth chapter of the game, and there’s only two more left. So it should only take me a week to finish the game. And then… I’m all yours again.” A second of silence passed between them. Then two, then three. Then, Shuichi was getting a finger flicked against his forehead. “Ah! W-What—?”

“I don’t like when Saihara-chan talks like that.” Kokichi said the words with a shrug as if it was nothing. “You sound…” _different_? Shuichi never got an end to his sentence, because Kokichi smacked a loud kiss (more intentional slob than an actual kiss, really) against the same spot that he had flicked Shuichi’s forehead, and he was off, sliding down the stairway’s railing into the great oblivion below.

∞

> PRIZE FOR COMPLETING CHAPTER FOUR: _**NOW DOWNLOADING**_

It was another video.

It was another video of Mikan. The lighting was slightly better, but not by much. There was a voice behind the camera – the most distinct voice in the universe, Shuichi recognized it instantaneously: Komaeda Nagito. They were discussing something in hushed tones. Even with unlimited replays, it was impossible to truly make out what their conversation was about. Maybe if the video was put through some type of editing software to boost up the volume it would be easier to understand, but – to Shuichi’s knowledge – there was no way to save the video prizes, or even the photo prizes.

The only blips of conversation that Shuichi could decipher were the words: “it,” “it,” “it,” “ _what do I do about_ it _?_ ,” “ _you know what to do about_ it.”

∞

> FROM: ゴキブリ (@051224)  
>  MESSAGE: Are you finished with DIVSTRUST? This is the usual hour when you tell me that you’re finished, so I thought I’d beat you to the punch. (And don’t go thanking me again. I think we have well established your gratitude by now.)
> 
> TO: ゴキブリ (@051224)  
>  MESSAGE: Thank you taking the time to message me first. And I can’t help but thank you for everything that you’ve done for me.
> 
> FROM: ゴキブリ (@051224)  
>  MESSAGE: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just wanted to tell you how to get DVSTRUST in the morning. Chapter five was a doozy, so the way to obtain it has to be the same.
> 
> TO: ゴキブリ (@051224)  
>  MESSAGE: Oh? How do I get it then? Will it be a place that’s hard to travel to?
> 
> FROM: ゴキブリ (@051224)  
>  MESSAGE: No. This time I want you to do something for me. You just need to send me a picture of someone committing a crime. Any crime will do. Anyone committing the crime will do too. After that, the fifth chapter is yours.

Shuichi felt his hand tremble. _Mixing fantasy with reality was…_ He clenched his teeth. Maybe it was the heavy dark cloak called “nighttime” the summer provided that made it seem okay for just a brief second; its cool yet weighty air flowing into his lungs gave that brief burst of confidence he always needed while making a decision before the anxiety came rushing back full force and everything came crumbling back down again— He just had to force his hands to work faster than his mind.

> TO: ゴキブリ (@051224)  
>  MESSAGE: Anything will be fine?


	3. you.

“—Now don’t get me wrong, Saihara-chan, I’m all for a little criminal fun. But first it starts off as ‘take a picture of a crime—any crime will do!’ to ‘take a picture of you killing someone—anybody will do!’ Do ya see where I’m doing with this?” Shuichi didn’t respond. He couldn’t think of anything to say. The trembling in his hands hushed all social constructs.

Kokichi, with a deep sigh and roll of the eyes, did the deed in the blink of an eye. If Shuichi didn’t have his phone poised at the ready, he would’ve missed it. He didn’t know that pickpocketing could be so… _easy_.

“Ooh, look at that!” Kokichi’s smile widened as he forced the money into the palm of Shuichi’s hand. “I wonder if they were going _to_ Korea or coming _from_ Korea. Oh, well. I think this equates to, like, 2,000 yen, maybe? How cheap. Aw wait, is Saihara-chan ignoring me?” Kokichi nearly disrupted the message that Shuichi was trying to type out. “I don’t know what I will do without Saihara-chan’s attention 24/7! I-I… I think I could just cr—!!” Shuichi hooked his fingers with Kokichi’s before any crying could commence.

“S-Sorry. They just sent me the next location.”

∞

The fifth chapter was in a trashcan directly in front of Kokichi’s apartment.

Shuichi couldn’t ignore the unmistakable “What the _fuck_?” muttered underneath Kokichi’s breath as Shuichi fished the package out. Once again, Shuichi had no response. His limited vocabulary comparted as “comforting” in his word bank had fizzled out.

∞

“What if… something special were to happen to Saihara-chan if he took me out tomorrow?”

“Hmm… I think I should be done by then. I-I’ll… I’ll make it up to you.” Shuichi received another flick against the forehead but at least it was with a smile.

∞

> PRIZE FOR COMPLETING CHAPTER FIVE: _**NOW DOWNLOADING**_

It was a text file. Shuichi reread the note until it was committed to memory.

> _It is ultimately not only boring, but also worthless. Akin to a cockroach. It may have many abilities, but it can also be crushed underfoot by anyone with a basic skillset. Nice try._

Then his phone buzzed.

> FROM: ゴキブリ (@051224)  
>  MESSAGE: Are you ready for the final chapter?

∞

The last location was an abandoned field.

Kokichi was not a fan.

“—whoever this online seller person is, they’re gonna kill Saihara-chan sooner or later and he’s not even going to notice.” Shuichi hadn’t invited Kokichi to tag along. So when Kokichi called to ask why he wasn’t home and he said that he was on his way to the field – Kokichi hadn’t hung up the phone since. Shuichi could do nothing but receive a (probably much deserved) verbal lashing. “That’s _literally_ what abandoned fields are for. Have you never watched a horror movie before? There’s always someone running in the fields during the climax just for the killer or monster or whatever to pop up out of nowhere and—BAM!” Shuichi held the phone away from his ear with a wince. “Dead.”

“I-It’s fine. If something happens, I’ll get out of here… Okay?”

“No. _Not_ okay.” And Kokichi hung up.

> TO: ゴキブリ (@051224)  
>  MESSAGE: I’m here but I’m not really sure where to look though…
> 
> FROM: ゴキブリ (@051224)  
>  MESSAGE: Do you see a large tree towards the middle of the field?

Shuichi looked up. The aforementioned tree was a few yards ahead of him. He inspected the tree, somewhat heeding Kokichi’s concerns. All he found was a box of matches and a red string tucked near one of the tree’s roots. The string stuck out underneath the root and disappeared underground.

> TO: ゴキブリ (@051224)  
>  MESSAGE: Okay, I’m at the tree.
> 
> FROM: ゴキブリ (@051224)  
>  MESSAGE: Do you see the string and the matches?
> 
> TO: ゴキブリ (@051224)  
>  MESSAGE: Yes?
> 
> FROM: ゴキブリ (@051224)  
>  MESSAGE: Set it on fire. The package should just fall out. Get out of the field ASAP and don’t look back.

Shuichi’s thumbs hovered over the keyboard of his phone. He couldn’t think of anything to say. If he wanted the sixth and final chapter, then it must be done.

He pocketed his phone and looked up and around. Well, it was an _abandoned_ field for a reason. It wasn’t like he was torching a neighborhood or committing arson out into the city, right?

…Right?

Shuichi didn’t know how many times he had to strike the match against the coarse edge of the matchbox. There were already two wasted matches beneath his feet. It was his hands. They wouldn’t stop shaking. After so many years, he would’ve thought he would be able to adjust to the trembles, to the shivers but – no.

_What…_

He sucked in a breath. Ah, wrong idea. He started choking on air.

_What if…_

He tried again. Slower. Slower breaths. Until his hands went from shaking to the occasional trembles. _There._ That was more manageable. The match was lit.

It was probably all over in the span of seconds. But it felt like a millennium in his mind. The string ignited instantly, and a package fell seemingly from the heavens above. Shuichi managed to catch it before it could come crashing down to the ground. Then, as if it spontaneously combusted, the tree caught fire.

Across the front of the package, in big, bold letters, were the words “OPEN IMMEDIATELY.” Shuichi, with his feet already pointed toward leaving the field, quickly unraveled the package.

All that fell out of the package was a slip of paper. “SORRY. CHAPTER SIX IS STILL IN THE TREE.”

His eyes immediately spotted it then when he whipped his body back toward the tree. Nestled up in the fiery branches, the infamous brown package was beginning to scorch on fire.

Shuichi’s mind went on autopilot.

In the blink of an eye, he was ripping off his jacket and swung it up at the tree branch. He just barely reached it, but he tried – again and again. Again and again until the tree was completely engulfed in flames and the grass was starting to catch fire also.

Then, it finally fell. When sweat was long dripping down his forehead, down the bridge of his nose, made the fringe of his hair stick to his forehead – it finally fell. Shuichi grabbed the package in his hands, trying not to allow the continuing tremors in his hands to let the package fumble into the inferno below. The inferno around him, actually, and beginning to spread like – well… _wildfire_.

It was the last sight Shuichi allowed himself to soak in before he raced out of the field.

∞

Through all of the adrenaline, Shuichi hadn’t noticed the burn across the palm of his left hand. He couldn’t even try to remember how he could’ve contracted it. All he could remember was his desperation in rescuing the package from falling. The packaging was scorched and so were the corners of the disk’s casing, but as long as the disk was untouched then all was well. It didn’t matter how scuffed up Shuichi got in the process.

Well. Perhaps Shuichi spoke too soon before thinking that the disk was untouched.

It looked fine, but once Shuichi placed it inside his computer, the game immediately seemed to lag when the menu loaded. Once he clicked for the sixth chapter to commence, no visuals appeared on the screen. Only text that appeared darkened and jittery.

 _Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no._ His chest was caving in—

Shuichi nearly jumped out of his skin when there was a knock on his bedroom door.

It only could’ve been one person, so Shuichi wasn’t sure why it didn’t occur to him to hide his hand. Perhaps it was still the leftover jitters from retrieving the package or the accelerating panic from the game glitching out that muffled his usually sound sense of logic.

No matter. It was too late. Kokichi’s ever-so-keen eyes instantly landed on Shuichi’s hand and he was grabbing his wrist and holding it up to eye level. He pointed at the sloppy, last minute bandage that Shuichi had wrapped around his hand as if a question didn’t even need to be asked. Shuichi tugged his hand away as gently as he could.

“Well.” Like water off a duck’s back – _for now_. Shuichi was sure that he was going to get a full-on interrogation later, but the probable impending confrontation didn’t make him shrink away. Standing in the eye of the hurricane was all he could handle for now. “Well,” Kokichi repeated, raising his voice, “today’s the day, like Saihara-chan promised.”

“O-Oh?”

“Yup! Don’t say ‘oh’ all confused like that! We’re going out to karaoke with our friends—or should I say _your_ friends, actually.” When Shuichi only blinked twice in response, and received two even more owlish blinks in return, Kokichi continued, “Remember? Saihara-chan promised me. I even have the evidence to prove it.”

“B-But we…” Shuichi gulped down the lump forming in his throat. His hand stung suddenly, but he forced it to remain by his side. The less attention to it, the better. “But we…” His mind. He was struggling to recollect. “B-But we… hate karaoke? R-Right? Didn’t you say that before?”

“Hm… Then they might’ve invited us to the mall. Or a restaurant. Or at a café. But who cares, though?” _Who cares who remembered what, though?_

“Is… Is it even today?”

“I don’t know~! And I don’t care~!” Kokichi said the words in a sing-song way and leaned against the door, but his posture said anything but relaxed. The tense air, the straining connection, the stinging hand, the still-whirling computer monitor— “Have you even looked outside your window today or are you officially on the road to becoming a _hikikomori_? It’s a beautiful day today~! Saihara-chan should take me out~!” The more sing-song-y his voice got, the more petrifying his eyes became. He wasn’t making a suggestion.

“O-Okay. I’m really sorry for not taking you out today, Ouma-kun.” Shuichi held back from mentioning that he was waiting for the game to reboot anyway. He was sure that Kokichi was ready to snip his tongue off at that point.

∞

_What if I…_

Shuichi opened and closed his mouth a couple times (akin to a fish gasping for air, as Kokichi unhelpfully supplied), before he finally settled on _some_ kind of sentence to simmer out into the stratosphere.

“But what if—” _something’s changed_ “—I… I don’t know…” Kokichi only tells him to take it easy, because “the world kinda sucks without you.” And that was all Shuichi needed to hear to temporarily put out the flames of his forever scorching mind.

∞

The sixth chapter was barely playable, but somehow, someway, Shuichi managed to finish it. His plan of letting the game “cool off” didn’t do much. (But hey, Shuichi never pretended to be good with technology. The game was as uncomplicated as uncomplicated could get; just point, click, and read.) There were still no visuals and the text was still jittery and words were even missing in some places, forcing for Shuichi to fill in the blanks. But it was fine.

Everything was fine. Everything was good. His mind was finally _silent_.

> PRIZE FOR COMPLETING CHAPTER SIX: _**NOW DOWNLOADING**_

Another video. Pitch black. More hard to hear audio.

“—it—”

“But it—!”

“Get rid of _it_ —”

“—it—”

Shuichi allowed the words to flow in through one ear and out the other.

> FROM: ゴキブリ (@051224)  
>  MESSAGE: Did you finish it?
> 
> TO: ゴキブリ (@051224)  
>  MESSAGE: Yes. Thank you.
> 
> FROM: ゴキブリ (@051224)  
>  MESSAGE: I just wanted to tell you that there’s a bonus chapter, actually.
> 
> TO: ゴキブリ (@051224)  
>  MESSAGE: Oh, really? Is it like an epilogue?
> 
> FROM: ゴキブリ (@051224)  
>  MESSAGE: Naw. If it was just an epilogue then it would’ve been included in chapter six. It’s an entire bonus story. It’s extremely exclusive too. If you thought getting DISTRUST was rare, DIFSTRUST is even worse. I’m the only person who has ever obtained it to my knowledge.

Shuichi’s thumbs hovered over his phone. He was… stupefied.

> FROM: ゴキブリ (@051224)  
>  MESSAGE: Do you want to play?
> 
> FROM: ゴキブリ (@051224)  
>  MESSAGE: I know you want to.
> 
> FROM: ゴキブリ (@051224)  
>  MESSAGE: Because we’re one and the same, right? DR over everything, right?
> 
> FROM: ゴキブリ (@051224)  
>  MESSAGE: But since it’s so rare, it requires very special conditions in order to obtain it.

He hadn’t even realized he had been waiting to exhale.

> TO: ゴキブリ (@051224)  
>  MESSAGE: What do I have to do?
> 
> FROM: ゴキブリ (@051224)  
>  MESSAGE: It’s quite simple really. :)
> 
> FROM: ゴキブリ (@051224)  
>  MESSAGE: Send me a picture of the next person who calls you dead.

∞

Only one person ever called Shuichi, really – especially during the summertime, it seemed like. “I’m calling,” Kokichi started speaking before Shuichi could even exhale his next breath, “not because I _care_ or anything—I mean, ew; me _caring_? _Never_ —but because I’m bored, like, so bored I could _cry_. So, how about you take me out again? To the park or wherever like before.”

“L-Like before?” Shuichi’s voice had dropped down to whisper, but Kokichi didn’t seem to take notice yet.

“Yeah. Haven’t we gone to the park before? Does Saihara-chan have amnesia or something? I think we even ate there too. I think we had, like… popsicles or something. Remember?” _No_.

“Y-Yeah. I remember.”

_What if I lost…_

“Hm… I don’t think you do~! That’s your lying voice! Ugh, it isn’t even _good_.” Kokichi gave a loud, messy sigh into the phone. “Ugh, I can’t believe Saihara-chan doesn’t care about me. All he cares about is his stupid game. Oh, my God—you’re a shut-in now, aren’t you? Oh, my God! Who do I have to call to save you before it’s too late?! You’re going to need therapy to readjust to being in the sunlight again and—wow, you’re basically a vampire now right?? Oh _no_. Oh _God_. I can’t believe I lost my poor, innocent Saihara-chan.” Kokichi was weeping loudly, exaggeratedly – his most infamous trait. “We’ve really come to this point, huh? Saihara-chan,” he pretended to choke back a sob, “Saihara-chan loves _Danganronpa_ more than _me_!”

“I… I love you more than _Danganronpa_.” Kokichi’s cries immediately stopped.

“Oh really?”

“Y-Yeah, and… And we can go to y-your house instead of the park. It’ll… It’ll be nice and quiet there and we won’t get disturbed and… and I-I kept breaking my promises to you, didn’t I? I’m sorry.”

“Oh, geez. Don’t get all sappy on me now. That’s sooo gross. I hate when you do that.”

“No, really! I-I… I’m really sorry, Ouma-kun. For everything.”

“Oh, great. Are you going to start crying too? There’s only room for _one_ crybaby in this relationship, Saihara-chan.” He sighed again, not as messy or as loud as before – just normally. Then, softly, he murmured, “Just hurry up and come over already,” and then he hung up.

∞

 _D **IF** STRUST_ was literally unplayable. The entire game was corrupted but Shuichi forced himself to power through it. Through scattered texts and nonsensical sentences and pitch blackness on the screen, in his room, outside – he did it. He finished _DISTRUST_ once and for all.

> FROM: ゴキブリ (@051224)  
>  MESSAGE: So it’s finally over.
> 
> FROM: ゴキブリ (@051224)  
>  MESSAGE: Aren’t you curious to know who I am?

“No.” His voice didn’t even sound like his own anymore. Too dark, too quiet, too— “No, I’m not curious. Just…” He willed his voice not to break, but it still fell apart: “Let me finish reading this last paragraph. _Please_. Just let me…”

> FROM: ゴキブリ (@051224)  
>  MESSAGE: Smart that you figured I can already hear you. I’m almost impressed.
> 
> FROM: ゴキブリ (@051224)  
>  MESSAGE: Alright, I’ll leave you alone for now. But you already know who I am. I’ve been sending you the signs all along. Take care.

Just one more click and – complete. It was over. It was all officially over.

> PRIZE FOR COMPLETING THE BONUS STORY: _**NOW DOWNLOADING**_

It was a picture of him and Kokichi, sitting outside, leaning against a picnic table and eating popsicles together, lost in the summer together but…

He couldn’t remember it.

He couldn’t remember when they had done that. He couldn’t even remember _if_ they had ever even done that _at all_.

And then reality kicked in, and the tears finally began to fall, and a sob heavier than any cry he had ever experienced in his life racked at his chest and squeezed all of the air out of his lungs. _His heart_. He clutched at his chest. “What have I done?” The words kept spilling out of his mouth over and over, but the voice was so foreign that his mind blocked it out. _I can’t breathe, I can’t—_ “W-What have I done? What have I done? _W-What_ …?”

_What if I lost you in the heat of the summer?_


End file.
